Speaking the Word in truth

Good morning God,
I am a great believer in the ability of good creative liturgy to assist us in discovering the meaning of some of the things we otherwise 'unthinkingly' do or say as part of our life of faith in the Church. One of the joys for me in Methodism is the freedom to use either our 'approved' liturgies - or our own. it speaks of a confidence in both the formal and informal means of grace. It also invites and encourages theological reflection on what we say and do, bearing in mind 'Lex Orandi - Lex credendi' (We believe what we pray).

But along with the invitation - comes the responsibility of ensuring that whatever we create conforms to the Gospel truth and to the doctrine of the Church - that we do not make a liar of Christ, for the sake of our sentimentality, or misuse the liturgy to control and manipulate the emotions of others.

The power of good liturgy to move people to laughter or tears, to bring them closer to you God, should be a testimony not to our inventiveness, but to the truth it conveys and to people's desire and willingness to be moved by you - and we forget this at our peril.

As a minister I have learned that it is frighteningly easy to craft a service that does manipulate the emotions of those attending through the careful choice of the spoken and responsive word, background music and songs, light, candles, visuals etc..  But is that what constitutes good worship?  It may well bring more people to Church - but does it bring them any closer to YOU God? Meaningful worship needs to engage all the senses, yes - but it also needs to be truthful and coherent. It needs to be open to your intervention - during the worship - as well as during the preparation! It needs to speak your Word.
So - for me - it also has to be theologically sound.. it has to proclaim the good news in a manner and in a language that can be understood and truly heard.

Which means, yes - I am trying to teach the congregation to only use the more modern form of the Lord's prayer - and many dislike it. I try and refrain from dropping back into old English when I talk to you God, or share your Word in public - I want it heard and understood!
Above all - I avoid referring to you in the masculine.

Paying close attention to what the Church is saying in its liturgies however does cause problems (to whit my last post concerning Ash Wednesday) Asking yourself not only 'what do I mean by this statement' but 'what will be understood by this statement' is hard work. It is so much easier to simply accept - these are the ancient words of the Church - they must be sound.

And they probably were - for their time and their context.

But such attitudes are why we are still in the dark ages with regard to inclusivity - how long did it take to change the creed so that we stopped saying ' for us men and our salvation'..?
When the Reformation happened - much changed - but much of our liturgy stayed the same - or has reverted back to what it was, in spite of the fact that our liturgical context is so vastly different today.

There are those of course, who will say - and that's the way it should be. It certainly makes life easier, all I would have to do is follow the script.. say the words, perform the rituals, follow the rubrics.. 'Dont worry what you have to say...'

But I can't do that. You gave me a love of your Word and a love of your people and asked that I speak the one to the other so that they can hear it. You talk to me of prevenient grace, of the need for the door to be opened, the invitation made - and you ask me to state it, clearly and unambiguously, truthfully and faithfully. You insist that in worship as in all other things, my first obedience must be to you, not to the disciplines of the Church. I accepted that responsibility - with joy.


So I am compelled to continue to reflect on the words that I am asked to speak for others, and especially on the words I am asked to speak that purport to be on your behalf. 
I repeatedly wrestle with the weight of tradition, and seek to find the balance - the pivot point where truth and integrity meet with wonder and majesty to proclaim the good news. You did not die 2000 years ago and stay dead! And your life, death, resurrection and ascension actually achieved something for us.

So I will strive to ensure the liturgy I speak  is also a 'living' word - that it reflects your ongoing revelation to us of your love and grace,  of sin and repentance, life in all its fullness, joy and perfect peace - now and always.  Its not a comfortable - or popular thing to do - but its worth it.

The Death of Ash Wednesday

Good morning God,
I'm sorry God but I just can't bring myself to do it - to buy into the cult of death which periodically sickens your Church, and participate in  'ashing' with its dreadful proclamation: 'remember that you are dust and to dust you will return'

What sort of manipulative lie is THAT for the Church to be saying?

It is a complete and utter denial of the Gospel?
I am come, says Christ - that you might have LIFE in all its fullness, that your JOY might be complete - for whoever believes in me shall NOT perish but have everlasting life:

I don't care what some sixth century Pope said -
And I am happy that Christ - the second Adam (if you want to do this theologically) has 'saved me' from Adam's fate - so - whichever way you look at it:

I am not DUST - I am YOUR child God - and I refuse to let any man tell me different!

We do not have to follow the crowd - some 'traditions' are best ignored or at least transformed.

So given that I am required by my congregation to observe this offensive catholic rite I choose to change the tradition and celebrate Ash Wednesday differently:

I am happy to trace in water and oil the baptismal cross on the forehead of those who wish to mark their acceptance of the forgiveness of Christ. I am happy to reaffirm:
Remember - you are a Child of God, you always were, you always will be.

(yes, yes, I do know God that your grace is resistible, but even a 'fallen' child of yours is STILL your child, God)

And to conclude the 'rite' with a prayer adapted from the baptismal service

'Remember and take courage from the knowledge that for you 

Jesus came into the world; 

for you he lived and conquered death; 

for you he prays at God’s right hand, 

all this for you, 

before you were even born. 

You are a part of  the congregation of Christ’s flock, 

so never be ashamed to call yourself a Christian. 

Rejoice, I say again - Rejoice

for you are a child of God.   

Amen.

There will be ashes present for those who wish to ash themselves: But I can no longer bring myself to perjure my faith and the light of the Gospel to satisfy the longing for some for the Gospel to focus on death not life.
Death happens. It takes less than a second to actually die.
Now hear the GOOD NEWS
We are so much more than dust - we were made by you to hold your breath, your Spirit, your life, your love - for all eternity.

The turning of the worm?

Good morning God,
Tell me, did you ever intend gender to be such a problem? When you created us, did you really think it would ensure a just and equal society if half of the people were treated as 'lesser mortals' than the other half? I ask because I've reached the point where I am past angry at the injustice - I am disgusted.

I recently learned that one of the most significant consequences of the 'Regrouping for mission' policy (aka mapping a way forward) is to decimate the number of women in leadership positions in our Church. Women simply don't apply for the Superintendency of these mega-circuits, especially not when it is a separated appointment. This means that in just a few short years we are in danger of setting back the equality of women's ministry in the Church by decades.

Sorry God - but I have to accept you made me, and you did so surely knowing that women are generally undervalued and disregarded in your Church (or more frequently - patronised and dismissed). Yes, I know that some women allow this to happen, but many more don't feel they have a choice - the Church has for too long proclaimed submissive behaviour to be the ideal female model.

Here's the bottom line God - I didn't choose to be female - and I didn't choose my vocation - you made me, you called me - as you have hundreds of other women - to serve in your Church, this community you gather and order.

And I am disgusted that so far we have achieved so little in the way of change -  with this powerful combination of gender and calling.

It's time to ramp things up - and I don't mean incrementally.

We wont change the culture of the Church by focus groups or positive discrimination - we will only change the culture of gender injustice that is warping our faith by changing the underlying generative structures. So, no,  I dont want another gender justice committee, I dont want more research, I dont want more gender awareness training.
I, for my part, am not content to say - but things are so much better than they used to be - I can do the theology and the math  of the number of women involved in the life of our Church - but more importantly:

I am not content to be grateful for the past, You called me to live for the future and I want more.

1. I want Church leadership at every level that models the best Trinitarian practice; which does not try and invest in one man, the sole responsibility for vision or  'management, oversight and governance' but which invests in a truly equal and complementary team ministry of Lay, Diaconal and Presbyteral members, women and men working together.
2. I want an end to unrepresentative governance structures at the highest level.
3. I want an end to the unthinking super-efficient sexist business language (eg management, oversight, governance, risk aversion, clusters, focus groups, etc etc) which disempowers (to say nothing of disenchants) so many of our members - lay and ordained.
4. I want an end to the dominance of business and finance over our corporate spiritual life. You cannot serve two Gods...
5. I want the Church to consult with its members rather than paid business consultants - on the way in which it fulfills its calling, and on the 'well-being' of its members
6. I want a forum where it is possible for all members to participate in discussion and considered REFLECTION on  matters before the Church,  where people are not made to feel either guilty or disloyal if they disagree with the 'stated' opinion.
7. I want changes to standing orders which properly reflect the fact that there is more than one way of being church.
8. I want circuit ministry - ie an end to 'sectional' ministry rubber stamped by a circuit meeting. 
9. I want a Deacon in every circuit - not as a ministerial substitute - but as someone essential to the Spiritual health of a circuit.
10. I want circuit plans that are designed to facilitate the means of grace, not just ensure that someone is taking a service at every church in the Circuit that week.
11. I want collegial accountability in ministry which is borne out of, and reflects, the ordinal not some consultancy firm's annual appraisal scheme.
12. I want an open and inclusive Church which welcomes people to become disciples of Christ and servants of your Church regardless of their gender, age, race, ethnicity, ability or sexuality
13. I want a Church that is confident enough in its own calling to not have to sell its soul or its belief in Gender equality in order to work ecumenically on the things that really matter - like evangelism and social justice.
14. I do not want the Church to be so slavishly TIED to the priorities of a previous generation that it becomes impossible to hear and respond to what the Spirit is saying to this generation.

Ok God - that's my neck on the line -
It's a tall list - but it's possible, some of it is already on the way - all it takes is an end to membership apathy and a heart for radical change.

Realised Ecclesiology

Good evening God,
I've just spent the last 5 hours time travelling - into the future
I have been in April - by which I mean I have been busy preparing the Easter worship for the two Churches I am privileged to serve in the Kingston Upon Thames Circuit of the British Methodist Church.
I mention this because It set me to thinking about the rather strange realised ecclesiology - the 'now and not yet' of the Christian Calendar for the minister.
Tomorrow I will be putting everything I have into persuading the congregation to be a part of Lent - to take the trouble to engage with a programme of study or discipleship so that they come prepared to the cross and the wonder of resurrection.  Over the next seven weeks, starting with Pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, members will have the opportunity to deepen their knowledge of Scripture through participating in the Big Read or deepen their discipleship through the Churches together in Britain and Ireland lent course 'The Unreconciled' or simply increase their awareness of Christian fellowship through Feast & Fast - a programme of shared meals with Lent conversations.

All of this was prepared months ago, before Christmas even!
And it's not over yet, for in order to ensure that membership classes are in place and the services are advertised and communicated - I am already having to prepare for Pentecost!!!

So whatever happened to living in the moment?
What space for spontaneity?

Is this what you meant by 'In the fullness of time?'
I do worry God, What room have I left for your Spirit to intervene and surprise us, transform us?

Like most ministers, I know the value and the importance of well prepared worship, but I can't help thinking sometimes that its all a little - well - a little contrived.
I do my uttermost to try and ensure that the worship creates space for each person to meet with you God, that means trying to be creative, informative, educated even, about the use of that precious one hour that we have together on a Sunday. I find myself hunting for the 'right words', for opportunities to create the 'right mood', for audio visual components which might underline the 'right meaning' or the 'right approach' - and all the time, I wonder - what would you have done? What do you want to say?

I think Jesus was lucky - he did Easter ONCE for ALL - we ministers have to somehow recreate or enable others to experience it every year. And woe betide the minister who does the same this year as they did last year - and woe betide the minister who doesn't remember - 'But we ALWAYS DO IT THIS WAY'.. and woe betide all ministers who come to Easter unprepared!
I well recall my first Easter as an ordained minister - I was so tired after a full programme of Holy Week services, Easter home Communion visits and three Easter Day services that by the time I came to the final discipleship celebration in the evening, I came out and wished everyone a happy Christmas!


And somehow it was right to do so.

There is something delightfully paradoxical about this 'now and not yet' dimension to worship preparation.. followed weeks later by worship celebration. Nothing else reminds me that you transcend all time, and all space, than the fact that the worship I prepare with you, weeks, sometimes months in advance, meets the needs of your people when it is prepared.
So thank you God, for time traveling grace
Thank you for your help in my preparations
But, any chance you could make sure I'm back in my own time to be able to catch the next episode of my favorite TV programme?
Before Easter?

My Musing on Ministry

Good morning God,
Our General Secretary has been musing on ministry on the back page of the Methodist Recorder.. so I thought I would follow suit, and similarly wonder 'whether, if I had my time over again, I would become a Methodist minister'.
Like Martyn, my answer is yes, I still maintain that for me, there is nothing more fulfilling and rewarding than being a Methodist Presbyter or Deacon. But that's where the similarity ends, for whilst Martyn takes joy in the increased numbers and diversity of paid lay employees in the Church, I see nothing but the failure of the Church to embrace its inherited theology of the priesthood of all believers.

Let me be clear here, I do not mean to devalue or demean the work undertaken by the laity of the Church. neither do I wish to imply that there is no such thing as a calling to full time lay ministry. But the simple fact is that the rise of paid lay employees in the Church mirrors the decline of the ordained ministry and in many cases has much more to do with finances than any real strategy for mission or ministry.
The rise of the Lay pastor in the UMC tells the same story -  the decline of the Church means that the Church can no longer afford to pay for manses and health insurance on top of stipends. The easiest solution is to employ someone to do the same job for less.

Am I being too cynical God?
Of course, in the UMC there is the added problem of Church elders (presbyters) also needing to be educated to Masters level BEFORE they begin their ministry. So - yes - an ordained elder of the UMC is more expensive than a lay pastor, just as a British Presbyter or Deacon is more expensive than a paid lay worker.


I guess I object on two grounds really:
Firstly I think that the movement towards an ever increasing number of professional 'lay ministries' represents a really shoddy abuse of the gifts of the laity and devalues what has historically been seen as lay ministry. 
I too value and give thanks to you God for the way you continue to call men and women into both lay and ordained ministry but I now wonder  how much longer will it be before the only people actively engaged in the work of the Kingdom insist on being paid for it?

I have to admit I would much rather that Churches and circuits didn't need administrators - I don't believe the amount of money and resources we spend, either locally or Connexionally on administration and management reflects well on us as a Church. To the outside world we are more like a people obsessed with structures, risk assessments, targets, committees and contracts than a people possessed by your Word and your Spirit God.
Also, the problem with employing youth workers, evangelism enablers, family workers, Lay pastors and pastoral assistants etc is that once they are paid to do the work, the rest of the congregation often seem to feel no need to develop their own skills in these areas. The overall effect is therefore to deskill the Church rather than to equip it.
We are in danger of creating passive congregations who are more entertained by their faith than engaged with it.

Who will take the Gospel into the workplace, into the schools and toddler groups, the markets, cinemas and pubs when those lay people with a heart for mission and evangelism are paid to work for, and focus on the Church?
Who will keep our theology and ecclesiology rooted in the communities we seek to serve in Christ's name when the laity no longer feel it is their job to undertake the very real ministry of networking and gossiping the gospel?

And so to the second reason - I grieve for my calling.
I grieve for the mismatch between what we say Presbyteral and Diaconal ministry is, and what it actually is in circuit. The rise of the professional lay employee has led to a mountain of administration, management and personnel work which the ordained ministry were never trained for and which is not a part of their calling. I am confused by the impression we are repeatedly being given by the Connexion that there is no value in our ordination, we can easily be replaced by someone cheaper who can 'do the job' just as well. Ordination is somehow presented as rather a nuisance for our Church financially, and administratively. The fact is that ordained ministers within our Church are increasingly being treated as employees - awkward ones, yes, but employees nonetheless - and not just because of the government's legislation either!

But above all this, I hate the impression that we are in danger of giving that the ministry of the whole people of God can be replaced by a team ministry of paid employees. The truth may be that there are fewer not more people now involved in the work of God in many of our Churches. Finding class leaders, junior Church leaders, local preachers, pastoral visitors, worship leaders, stewards and other Church officers becomes harder every year. "We pay other people to do that"


I am convinced that our Church's stated desire to increase discipleship will never succeed as long as we continue to employ lay people to hide our ministerial vacancies, disguise our financial predicament,  or cover the passivity of our congregations.

So like Martyn, I too wait with anticipation to see what the Spirit will do with us all..
But I confess, I'm biased God, I still believe in ordained and lay ministry as being equal and complementary in value but different in calling and practice. I believe in a Reverend or a Deacon being allowed to be a Reverend or a Deacon wherever God has placed them. Just as I believe that neither can practice their calling without the support and full cooperation of the Laity.


The simple answer is that you called me by name - I am yours - and am still amazed that you called me to serve in the ordained ministry of your church.

So I look forward to a time when we can once again celebrate 'the ministry of the whole people of God', lay and ordained, not just that of the paid 'Leadership team'.
And I dare to dream of a whole congregation committed to mission and service in the name of Christ who will being people to YOU God - not just to the Church.

Six Degrees of Separation

Good morning God,
I enjoyed playing six degrees of separation in yesterday's worship. Trying to make the links between the youngest member of our congregation and the queen was easy, as was finding a route to the Pope..
What was more provocative was making the link between any one of us and Ossoma Bin Laden, or the Yorkshire Ripper, or Doctor Shipman.. Realising how closely connected we all are to our worst 'enemies' put a whole new slant on the meaning of the lectionary lesson to Love our Enemies..
I do know that there are some that dispute the theory of six degrees of separation, but the problem is that the Church is so global and 'connected' that it's seldom a problem to achieve the desired goal in 6 or less relationships.

But it also started me thinking again about the difference between independence and interdependence. I am increasingly convinced that independence is the biggest 'sin' that there is. It is contrary to our nature and to our nurture. It distorts relationships (how can you possibly have a two way relationship with someone who is independent !) and leads to an unrealistic idea of self-worth and self-importance which can be soul destroying in so many ways.

If I am honest, I would have to admit that I loathe the very idea of being only six or less contacts away from our Prime Minister David Cameron at the moment.. until, that is, I began thinking about how that connectivity could be used to effect change in the areas that trouble me most - namely the unashamed recreation of the worst of the British Class system with its inherent injustice and base immorality.

There is something more powerful than politics about the fact that we are all interdependent - as we can see by the role that micro-blogging is playing in the protests and demands for democratic reform throughout the middle-east. People naturally feel stronger when they are aware of the fact that they are not alone... Humanity is changed when it acts as one. People change when they feel connected. Love flows easier, poverty really can be bested and fear defeated - by a genuine knowledge of our interdependence, of how we belong, one to another.

The fact is that WE are far more powerful and transformational  than I can ever be.
And it is this of course. that makes the doctrine of the Trinity so powerful. It takes the I am and transforms it into an interdependence of grace from which flows our human sense of belonging and interdependence. I can still be all that I am, without needing to see myself in opposition to all that I am not. I can work with, not against, the forces that shape and form me, the contacts who help to define me and the relationships which nurture and develop me.

Interdependence does not strip us of anything - it does not take anything away from our uniqueness or gifts or graces - but it does add to who we are. It humbles us to learn we are connected to the worst in humanity as well as the best in society. That we are probably as closely linked to the people we despise the most, as we are to the people we admire the most. It helps keep a sense of perspective about who and what we are. I am connected to people who are immensely talented, and to people who see no value in their lives at all. I am linked to royalty and poverty alike, to Muslims, Hindus and Christians and to those of no faith.. I stand with those in Cairo, Libya and Bahrain because I am a part of humanity, not separate from it.

Whether I like it or not, I am linked to each and every member of the British government too.

So the challenge is now on to find a way to use that link to help shape and form JUST rather than unjust policies.


 

 

Bring back the 'Local' in 'Local Preachers'

Good day God,
I want to say from the onset that I am genuinely glad that you keep calling people to proclaim your word. One of the most powerful signs that the Church has that you are still interested in us, is that you keep calling people to share with us the word of truth that you share with them.

But I'm getting increasingly confused as to how this 'sharing' is supposed to happen.
It used to be that a Local Preacher was able to preach to the Congregation by setting the gospel in their particular 'Local' context. The Local preacher would know what was happening in the lives of the congregation, what their concerns were, their hopes and aspirations.. they would be a part of the conversation of  your people with you God, not set apart from it!

More and more it seems to be the case that local preachers have less and less to do with the congregations they preach to. Time, money (and perhaps some misplaced idea of the role and authority of the Local Preacher) has led to a situation where most Local Preachers seem to work in isolation on their service and sermon, as though the mission of the congregation is of no account.

I know that Faith and Worship tries to encourage those learning to preach to take account of the 'nature of the congregation' in terms of its age, ethnic composition etc.. but I'm talking about something far more fundamental than that. I'm talking about the MISSION of the congregation, the way in which worship is a means of grace, and what the congregation is hoping for from its encounter with your Word in worship.


Intentional or not, we seem, as a Church, to be encouraging a generation of 'hit and run' circuit preachers who visit the Churches and say what they want to say or believe you have called them to say - with seldom any thought to the conversation that congregations are already having with you.  Which, can often mean that the 'service' is nothing more than a rude interruption and something which makes a mockery of the whole concept of a 'Local Preacher' no matter how good the sermon!

I believe that any Church can flourish as a result of the special diversity and contribution that Local preachers can bring when they work WITH a Church to provide worship which serves as a means of grace. When they bring their own unique perspectives to bear on whatever it is that the Church is trying to explore or promote as part of its mission and outreach, Local Preachers really can add to the richness of grace. But of course to achieve that wonderful fusion of your calling and the congregation's growth in grace and holiness means that a Local Preacher has to spend time with a congregation BEFORE they preach to them, BEFORE they have decided what it is they think you want to say to them. All that takes extra time and effort if they are not a member of that Church or if the Circuit is so big that the preacher seldom visits a Church more than once or twice a quarter.

I think most ministers would welcome the chance to work with a team of 'Local preachers' who are really 'Local' and who really do want their preaching to play a part in the local mission of the Churches in a circuit. I am sure I am not the only minister who wants  Local Preachers to do more than read a letter that tells them who their steward will be and when the Junior Church are in or out.. Local Preachers can be a phenomenal resource for your work God, by helping congregations fulfill THEIR mission and grow in grace, rather than just letting them hear another sermon - (even if it is a brilliant sermon!).

There is a way of recovering the 'Local' in 'Local Preacher': Change the Plan.

In one circuit, for example, the local preachers were asked to work in teams with each of the circuit ministers. They were asked to meet with the minister and the Church officers at the start of each quarter to think and pray through the Church's worship. They were a part of the discussions which determined (according to what was happening locally with that Congregation) which acts of worship that quarter were best suited to evangelistic outreach, which would be really helpful in addressing issues the congregation were facing, which were ideal for including families or young people etc etc etc.. Only the team were planned to preach in that Church that year..
Yes.. It reduced the number of local preachers visiting each Church over the year - but it strengthened the concept of local ministry and local mission, What was heard was the Word of God for the people of God at this time and at this place.
And without exception the Churches grew.
So did the Ministers and Local Preachers.