Persistent Memory

Dali - The persistence of Memory

Good morning God,
Memory is clearly both a gift and a curse. It is essential to everyday living, but it can also play cruel tricks with us. It can betray us when it falters, leaving us bereft and empty of names and faces we once loved. It can surprise and delight us with childhood moments in adult years. But it is also frighteningly easy to develop false memories and to create a selective memory which chooses to remember only the 'good' things or (in certain cases) the 'bad' things about someone or some situation.
By far the most disturbing aspect of memory however is its persistence. Dali recognised this and depicted both the horror and the morbid fascination of persistent memory in his surreal landscape  of the same name.
In the picture he brilliantly captures the distortion of human form that occurs when we cannot forget.
Ask most people who have suffered from abuse about the persistence of memory about the way in which it is impossible to forget - even when the claim is made that the abuser has been forgiven. And about the way that the persistence of the memory of their abuse continually shapes and defines their world and their self-image.
Forgiveness is seemingly linked inextricably to the ability to forget. The argument is simple enough, if the hurt and the harm can be forgotten, then it will prove easier to forgive the person who inflicted it.
But this is not really forgiveness, this is merely forgetting. 
Real forgiveness is related to the persistence of memory, it's what make forgiveness so difficult to do and what makes the simple statement 'Your sins are forgiven' so mind-blowing.
To be able to forgive remembered sin (real or otherwise) takes grace and the unique ability of grace as your power to transform life, regardless of who committed the sin.
Your grace alone can provide us with a place where we can stand in safety to look into the past and truly acknowledge it, to feel the power of its hold on us, before learning how to forgive ourselves and others for it. You offer us a new life where memories can be hung as pictures, rather than used as weapons to continue to hurt and harm, and where forgiveness transforms and empowers us to try again to build a new world..

And this is as true for inherited memory as it is for personal memory.
I do not personally remember the crusades, the inquisition, the shoah - but they are part of our inherited memory - as are the masacres in Rwanda, Bosnia, Kosovo, the acts of terrorism in Israel/Palestine, the USA, UK and Ireland and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 
And as long as the memory of those acts are used as weapons to create further hatred and fear there can be no peace: we are doomed to repeat what we remember. When we say - we will remember them - what will we remember of them? What will we change as a result of them? What is the power of this persistent remembering? How is this remembering shaping us and our future?

The Scriptures make it clear, our own history similarly teaches us that forgiveness is essential to transform the power of memory into a force for good - no matter how evil the deeds were or are.
How long oh Lord, How long will we harbor grudges, remember grievances and build new prejudices on the memories of the dead?

Only by your Grace God, can we obtain the power to forgive as needed and to proclaim that in spite of the memories of the past, in spite of the agitation of those who try to bind us to the past, we choose to build a new future free from its bitterness and gall. 

Why - because you have declared - your sins are forgiven, and have said to us:

Do this in remembrance of me -
forgive your enemies,
love those who spite you
go in peace and sin no more.

Meldrew Ministry..

Good morning God,
It's been some time since we had a conversation like this, mainly because I've been pretty angry - with you, with the Church, with the world - with me.
It crept up on me slowly, so gradually that I was not really aware of it happening, just a growing irritation with myself, disillusionment with the Church. frustration at the world.. you know the way it goes. It happens when ministry becomes institutionalized and the focus shifts imperceptibly and inexorably from the divine to the mundane. All too soon you wake up and find yourself with a 'Meldrew' ministry, where the constant refrain of a grumpy old man has replaced all the words of grace and joy.

I found someone had parked in the ministers car parking space at Church - I don't believe it!

I learned of a Church meeting where the members had been downright rude - I don't believe it!
I read a report in the Conference Agenda - I dont believe it!
I was constantly interrupted in my prayers by cold calling telesales - I dont believe it!
My cat sat on my keyboard and managed to delete my sermon notes - I DONT BELIEVE IT!

Of course I can find a million and one reasons for the slide into disillusionment , into anger, and - yes - despair - some of them are even valid.. but not one of them is worth losing my relationship with you - or my ministry for. The last thing the Word or the world needs is an angry, grumpy minister.. even if they are justified in their anger ! There are enough Victor Meldrews in the secular world - we dont need them in the Church as well!

So thank you God, for the wake-up call and for the reminder that forgiveness is not just about being forgiven - it's about seeking the ability to forgive yourself and others for whatever has caused the loss of joy and grace and contributed to the shift of focus. It's about being free enough of the petty and the mundane to delight in the divine - and rejoice!


My anger and disillusionment are not going to be fixed or resolved overnight, but by your grace, I can take the first step and refuse to allow them to define me. No matter how it might seem, the Church and the world are safe in your care and keeping - the good news is still GOOD NEWS even in a grumpy world. Now that's something I do believe !




 

Blame Culture

Good morning God,
I have been listening to the testimony of Gordon Brown at the Chilcote enquiry and to the BBC's question time last night and I can't help but notice that as faith decreases so blame increases in modern society. It's particularly noticeable around election time of course, but its not restricted to politics - it is fast becoming endemic in our culture. We blame the police for failing to eradicate crime, catch murders, burglars or car thieves.. We blame politicians and the media, scientists and teachers, doctors, bureaucrats and ministers for the state of the world, our health, our eduction, our quality of life and even the state of our souls.. Oh, and of course we blame you for anything bigger that we can't understand but is spectacularly nasty, or unpleasant or disastrous.
To what end? What advantage is there is blame? How does it help to point a finger in this way?
I could understand if it were in order to offer forgiveness, but that's not why its done. There is little evidence of any desire to forgive in the intention to blame, there is only evidence of a desire to prove that whatever caused/is causing the hurt was someone else's fault.
To blame someone/something else is another way of divesting personal responsibility, of standing outside the situation and distancing oneself from it.
We know the harm that blame causes, we even tell people - you mustn't blame yourself..
But perhaps we should blame ourselves, at least until we can get rid of blame altogether, and replace it with the Gospel message of intra-dependence instead of independence, of grace and mercy instead of judgement and damnation and most of all, of growth in grace and holiness through the gift of forgiveness.
Christians especially have this responsibility to recognize 'there but for the grace of God go I' and to offer the support, forgiveness, love and peace that they themselves would want. The know to 'carry one another's burdens in love', and how important it is to 'love your neighbour as you love yourself' - and that by neighbour we mean all of humanity.
So how has the blame culture crept so insidiously into our churches?
Ministers, priests, deacons and officers are often blamed for things that the membership think is wrong with the Church, as though members have nothing to do with the leadership in either electing or appointing them, and hence nothing to do with decisions that they make. Perhaps they really feel they haven't - perhaps they do no think their prayer about such matters counts, nor do they value the effort that they make to share in the process of discerning your will.
And of course the same is true the other way around - members are often blamed for things that the leadership think is wrong - as though the leadership is not a part of the membership!
Blame goes hand in hand with distancing - but we are called to be a reconciling people. You teach us that it is never to late to be reconciled one to another, that no matter the sin - it is past, no matter the offense - it is is wiped away - because we are all one in Christ. It seems to me that only by recovering the unity we claim in Christ, can we end the blame culture that defeats our ultimate purpose of working with you to build a reconciled world.

I have long believed that ministers have nothing to do but to love their people - 'just as I have loved you, so you also must love one another', and that a Church which loves its leadership cannot help but work wonders for the gospel. But that love is not possible without prayer, without grace and without forgiveness - ie without your gospel in our hearts and minds.
Standing against the blame culture is never easy - but its time that the Church took a lead and practiced what it proclaims in your name. I cannot blame those I help to elect, those I help to appoint, those I pay to serve for my own failure to be involved in the work of this world, in its peace and struggle to the perfection which you desire for it. I cannot distance myself from the wars, the violence, the sickness or sin, for those involved are my brothers and sisters in Christ. So I will look to align myself with their grief and their sorrow, and stand beside them, as best I can, whilst you redeem and restore the right relationships between us.
Otherwise, surely I would deserve to be called hypocrite by a world that believes that all that the Church does is the same as everyone else and pass blame and judgement without grace or favour.