10 Things I wish I'd known as a probationer..

Evening God,

We both know that there is no way that we have been able to tell those student ministers who are just about to become probationer ministers everything that they need to know.. there just wasn't the time or the opportunity.. so thanks for this prompt on their behalf for the things I wish I had known..

The ten things I wish I had known in my first year as a probationer

1. Putting a piece of plastic around your neck is not a substitute for prayer.
2. Church Stewards are neither angels or demons - they are people.
3. The tax man does not think ministers are more honest than lay folk - do your return.
4. The phone WILL ALWAYS ring on your day off - but you can choose to answer it or not.
5. You will always need one more order of service than you thought you would
6. The manse is always dirtiest when the Chair of district calls - but so was theirs
7. Cassocks are not the easiest garments to get out of in a hurry.
8. There is never toilette paper in the vestry loo if you really need it.
9. It ISN'T possible to live on cucumber sandwiches, Tea and Cake - take time for lunch
10. Spilling the communion wine over the table is NOT an immortal sin.

Ahh.. happy days.

God, bless all those starting their ministry tomorrow morning - help them to realise that this really is the BEST 'job' in the whole wide world -
Help them to stay close to you, and find a million and one ways to remind them, repeatedly, that they have only one thing to do.. and its really not that hard
Just love your people...