Penis Envy

Good morning God,
I have never wanted equality with a man - why settle for less than you already have has been my motto. But now I find I have a peculiar case of Penis Envy It's a little late in developing I know, but previously I have never had a real problem with being a woman in a man's world. Whether in Information Technology or Lecturing, it was always easy to deal with sexism simply by being better at my job than the other 'guy'.

It took the Church to make a sort of feminist of me!
I confess that I have tended to play down feminist theology as a 'red herring' theology - one of those side-avenues that 'real theology' can dally around in whilst it muses over the real questions of who YOU really are and why You have any interest in us, and who on earth Christ was, and what in heaven's name has happened to the trinity as a result.. you know the sort of things I mean.
Feminism always seemed so stamp-the-foot angry, and, if I am honest - too one-sided for me. What's the point in making women into men? What's the point in being so aggressive that we lose who we are? I can't be a man hater - I love too many of them! From my experience training and working with male ministers, I just can't believe women are any more caring or creative, loving or flowingly liturgical(?) than any male minister fulfilling their calling to love Christ's flock.

Moreover, feminism has always seemed keen to categorise and define women as a group of people I didn't belong too. I am highly creative, but wouldn't know how to wear a scarf around my neck properly or apply a modern mascara. I enjoy a soak in the bath, but can't be bothered with make-overs or make-up (the very expression says it all for me!) I prefer mixed company where possible - but to be honest I don't care what the gender or sexuality of the person is - as long as they can laugh and converse,  preferably about theology, but I'll settle for anything cultural, political or scientific as a substitute!

I hate the very notion of Network or as it is now renamed 'Women in British Methodism' and the assumption built into it that just because I wear knickers I belong to a special group which the Church must pander to by allocating a place at Conference to a women who dares to claim she speaks in my name (as though I lack the ability to speak for myself!!!)

I am a woman not a wimp - I can speak for myself thank you - and I hate the very notion that such women's groups are based on -  that women are so waspish and wimpish that in order to succeed they have to have special consideration of their needs.

So that's my prejudices nailed to the mast - but what then of my anger and righteous indignation of the state of the Church? Of the disgusting male exclusivity built into every element - from the liturgy with its conditional offering, to the priesthood!

I could of course, take the attitude suggested by the David Hallam in a comment on my last post and simply thank God that I am a Methodist and a product of the Reformation..
Except, of course, as most women in Methodism know - the problem of exclusivity is as much a Methodist problem as a Catholic one.
Do the figures..
what percentage of an average congregation is male, what percentage is female.
Now.. what percentage of our Connxional Team is Male? What percentage of our District Chairs is Male? what percentage of our Circuit Superintendents is Male? And of our ministers.. our district officers, or our new  Pioneer Leaders?

The only place where the ratio of male to female  even begin to match the Congregation is in terms of local preachers... but even here I still hear complaints from women about women local preachers with their high pitched screachy voices!
I am incensed at how delighted everyone is that we have a female president and vice president - why so delighted? this should be NORMAL - we don't experience the same joy when we have the usual twosome - or when (increasingly more common) we have a male president and a female Vice president
Our very delight in the elections of Alison and Eunice show how much this is OUR problem as well as the catholic Church's problem.

What - did we think having women ministers was enough?
we have prided ourselves on the idea that no office in our Church is barred to women - but we have our own glass ceilings, they may not be in CPD - but the figures make it clear that they do exist in the hearts and heads of those who appoint and select our ministers, officers and pioneer leaders (albeit, I grant, perhaps subconsciously).

BUT Gender justice is a gospel issue - not just a Church structure issue.
Our structures are but a reflection of our underlying theology and liturgy (we are what we pray as a Church) 
So for me this cannot aford to be about helping the little woman out - I demand gender justice, and although, yes, I am little(!) I am not wanting special privileges or special consideration.  I dont want a different job, I don't even want women to want access to the sort of jobs men in Methodism currently hold - I want a more radical change. I want the underlying theology exposed so that we see how we got into this mess and are more able to use the gospel light to find a way out of it.

I want for myself and for other women in our Church what you God, have given to all - full and unconditional access to your grace, to your love and to your power to change what is wrong, to transform the world and assist in the building of a kingdom of justice and peace. I want everyone to have what my male colleagues have, the theological and biblical freedom and confidence to be who they are, and to grow fully in grace and holiness in a Church which follows Christ's example and celebrates both genders.  I want for everyone to have the same access to authority, the same rights within our Church, the same respect and the same consideration as every man is granted naturally - and I want it without anyone having to stamp a foot to get it.

I want an end to theological Penis envy..

Ironically God, the Vatican is full of male statues, each with the penis chopped off... there's got to be a feminist sermon in there somewhere!

Bad Theology

Good morning God,
I've been thinking about bad theology and the damage that it does, and trying to think of a way in which we are better able to identify it and stop doing it!
The trouble is that many people dont even know what theology is these days, they think its the 'hard stuff' that people have to do at seminary or university. It never seems to dawn on them that the really telling theology, the theology that changes and transforms most people's lives is actually done by the rank and file membership of the Church by what they do (or dont do) day in and day out as Christians and by what they say (or dont day) in response to what is happening in the world and in their lives.
The first theology that most people encounter comes out of the mouths of their friends when they are invited to attend Church or house-group or something similar.

Theology is nothing more or less than our conversation with, for, and about you - and like all conversation it can suffer from some very obvious problems:

It can be boring when people simply repeat the same old thing time and time again as though it gains meaning in the retelling. This sort of one sided conversation very quickly puts some people off as it presents you as effectively dead or deaf, or perhaps just as boring as you never seem to respond or react to the retelling... On the other hand, some people take comfort from the fact that they know exactly what is going to be said - it means they don't have to listen too hard, and they can feel a part of things because they know the lingo..
A boring conversation can often slide into a shouting match - this is where it is still the same old thing being said, but now the bore is concerned that they are not actually being heard anymore so they start shouting it - as though they can make up in volume what the conversation lacks in substance..  This conversation is often a crowd puller at first, people come to see what all the noise is about, but they seldom stay to listen for too long - its hard on the ears as well as on the soul!
Or the conversation could be rude with people just interrupting what is already taking place, without bothering to take into account the subject matter of what is being talked about. The mistaken assumption that their interruption is either pertinent or welcomed is based on the idea that any conversation with you can be improved by a few stock phrases, or quotations (which you must have heard a million times before). This conversation often begins by being quite interesting, it looks initially as though there is an opportunity for wider dialogue, but it soon becomes apparent that the stock phrases are just another way of forcing the conversation back to being boring..
It is also possible to have an ignorant conversation, this is when people interrupt an important conversation and hold forth without stock phrases, but also without any real knowledge of what is being talked about, what has already been said or even why the conversation is taking place. This conversation can be interesting if not informative. It's always good to hear people's opinion, and there is a real opportunity to engage.. but a lack of the most basic knowledge of the earlier parts of the conversation tends to limit the potential of the conversation and often silences it just as it begins to get really  interesting.
But the most damaging sort of bad theology occurs as a result of insensitive conversations, when people just dont think before they speak.. worse, they presume that they already know what you will say and so attempt to speak for you rather than engaging with what you are currently saying or doing. In so doing, they effectively discount you from the conversation altogether... making it a conversation about you rather than a conversation with you, and it is this that allows them an insensitivity that I suspect you would simply not tolerate.

There are of course, good conversations to be had with you, but I was asked about bad theology..