Christian Charity or Selling Out?

I hate it God,
No, I really do.
When people walk into the Church and begin with 'I don't want money' they almost always do, and I hate the 'game' that we have to play before they walk out in a huff (generally shouting obscenities or bewailing my lack Christianity), or I give in because I am just so weary of all the lies.

Today was a classic - I don't want money - I jut want food he said. I immediately offered to buy a weeks groceries at the shop opposite. No, that wasn't acceptable, his children were coeliac and he didn't know what to buy, could I give him the money so that he could take it home and his wife would buy it.
I told him no, and asked if he could he ring his wife so I could find out what she needed? No, he didn't think that would be a good idea, besides, he says, the food would be cheaper if it were bought in his local shop. etc etc etc. No matter what I tried to do, it quickly became obvious that the only thing that was going to be acceptable was the money that he had said he didn't want!

In the end of course, I am the bad person for wanting to actually buy the food, I was treating him like a criminal, I was insulting him by not trusting him etc etc etc I was a disgrace to Christianity for offering to buy the food instead of giving him the money. He left shouting abuse, and I am left feeling dirty, disgraced, angry and ashamed.

And.. God,  I am so weary of it all.
Tell me - what was I supposed to do? I have got to the stage where I no longer know what I am supposed to do.

Just give the money anyway - money that has come (often sacrificially) from pensioner's pockets - just hand it over to the con-man for his next fix of alcohol or drugs or tobacco or whatever else it is (credit for a mobile)?

Just give the money anyway -  on the grounds that if someone is so desperate that they have to try and con a Church they must be desperate indeed?

Just give it and forget about it - because he has asked for it? Even though we have none to give and what we have would undoubtedly be better spent on families here that have a real need?

Tell me God ? I really don't know anymore.
The presumption seems to be that all ministers are idiots, a soft touch, easy picking, fair game: That we don't have feelings, can't be hurt by groundless accusations, that its ok to lie about us, shout and rant and rave at us and call us everything under the sun when we don't give in to emotional or religious blackmail and give them the money they begin by saying they don't want!

Having to  live daily with these presumptions is a far cry from “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."

I concede I'm just having a bad day God, but I'm not sure I know any more how to "Rejoice and be glad" or even care about how great my reward is in heaven" when such presumptions make such a hell of life on earth!

What I know is that this amount of anguish and emotional abuse has cost me far more than the £20.00 he would have accepted - but would I then have been selling my soul?

The raison d'etre of Church

Good afternoon God,
There are times when I feel as though I am on a different planet from most people, and today is one of those days. It's like living in a parallel universe where things look vaguely like they should, the buildings haven't changed, the people are all the same, but the raison d'etre has changed and I no longer know what it is.
Please, tell me. what is the raison d'etre of Church?

I once believed that Church was the body of Christ, called out to proclaim in word and deed the good news of Jesus Christ that by your grace, people might have life in all its fullness.. Church was where people came to worship you and to share in the spiritual nurture and growth of your people in order that together we could grow in grace and holiness, striving for that perfection which you set before us. It was where we first heard the call to work with you in building a different sort of world, a place of justice, righteousness and peace, hopefully  without false piety or petty dogmas to disturb it. In Church you frequently surprised people with the gifts and graces that you had given them, and delighted them by providing them with the support that they needed to grow to be all that they could be. Church was the one place that a child could expect to be nurtured in the faith, an adult challenged to respond and a senior Christian invited to take a lead role as a Spiritual leader - because of their knowledge and depth of faith.
It was these things that made Church so dynamic, so compelling a place (or rather an activity) that wild horses couldn't keep us away from it.
At least, that is what I believed it was and could be - and it was out of that belief that I felt called to serve.
So tell me God why does it feel like I'm living on a different planet?

I don't believe that the Good News has changed, neither do I believe that it is no longer relevant to the world. I remain convinced that we need Christians who believe the good news to take leading roles in politics, community welfare and education so that the world really is changed by the influence of the Holy Spirit and that these Christians need supporting by the body of Christ through prayer and worship.
I know that you are still calling young people to be open to ministry, to leading worship, to building community and to growing in grace, but these too need to be nurtured and supported by the Church, not discouraged or ignored. I am persuaded that there has never been a more opportune time to reach out in love to those who have not yet heard, to work to save the lost, while some of us can still remember the way! But I am also persuaded that if we do not get the raison d'etre right then it will not happen.

SO, please, tell me. what is the raison d'etre of the Church today?
I really need to know.

An end to ordained ministry?

Good morning God,

What does it take to persuade a minister to leave their church? The process of becoming a minister was so arduous for some that it seems almost inconceivable that anyone who put themselves through it would walk away casually - unless of course, they enjoy self harm! And then of course, there are the practicalities of having to find a new job (what ARE the transferable skills of the clergy?) and of course, a new home - few jobs outside the Church come with a place to live. And for some, there are other concerns, like health insurance, car allowance etc etc.

Yet in spite of this, more and more ordained Christian ministers are leaving the Church.

• It isn't that they don't want to minister,
• it isn't that they don't love the people that You have placed in their care -
• it isn't even the inevitable petty squabbles that happen each and every week which the minister is routinely expected to resolve..

Almost without exception, those who leave state that they are just as convinced of their calling to ordained ministry as when they first offered to serve You.

So what is going wrong God?

The majority of those I have spoken to about this cite a breakdown in the relationship with the 'institutional' Church as the main reason why they left. Some speak almost bitterly of the lack of support, of isolation, of mismanagement and even of betrayal.

But they are not talking about doctrines, about Scripture or even the traditions of the Church. Neither is this about belief in You. It is about the perceived failure of the Church to practice what it preaches at every level - including the institutional. The trend towards treating ministers as corporate employees, with contracts and line-managers, HR departments and handbooks, is a step too far for some who claim it dehumanises ministry, negates 'pastoral care' and replaces YOU with the Church at the heart of ministry.

The other side to this of course, it the appalling standard of ministry which local Churches have to endure from ministers who insist on doing their own thing, who cannot be disciplined except for major offenses, who will not hold themselves accountable, and who sit lightly to the practices and doctrines of their Church. Not surprisingly - such ministers seldom leave of their own volition! The frightening increase in the numbers of such ministers persuades many that the only answer is for the Church to embrace models of leadership, management and governance borrowed from industry.. which encourages others to leave..

The challenge for the Church is to find the balance...

I'm not convinced that there was once a golden age when the Church took better care of its ministers, but I do agree that the institutional Church seems less and less conscious of, or even concerned about, the part that You play in ministry and the needs of the minister for pastoral care and the opportunity to grow in grace and holiness rather than to be 'managed'.

I am also forced to agree with those who say that there is an increase in the number of ministers for whom the word 'sacrifice' is not only archaic but simply 'not in the contract'.

There is however, little to suggest that the Church has either the courage or the confidence to act to obtain the balance we need.

Which begs the question - has ordained ministry perhaps had its day..?

The simple fact is we could do without it..
The Church has always grown fastest when it didn't have it..

What do you say God?

Let no one suffer hurt through your neglect

Good morning God,

It will be a joy to Baptise Carmel this morning, but my preparations for this service combined with some of the events of this weekend, have prompted me to revisit the Presidents charge to me at my ordination. I have baptised and confirmed so many young people, a rare and wonderful privilege. I have shared with them in their journey of faith and exploration of what it means to have a God of justice and peace, of passion and persuasion.

But I want to know how, God, under our Methodist system of itinerancy, we are ever to keep the command 'let no one suffer hurt through your neglect. We forgot to add the words 'as long as you are their minister' or some other get-out clause and I don't know how to find the off switch.

Letting go and letting YOU, God do your work, trusting in YOU God, and having confidence that the seeds that were planted... all the usual platitudes just don't quite cut it when what I really want to do is vent my anger - because when young people leave the Church I really don't believe it's good enough to dump it on you God.

I guess it is about how congregations keep the promise which they make at a young person's baptism 'to so maintain the Church's life of worship and service that their young people can grow in grace and in the knowledge and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord..

as well as how ministers heed the charge given to them at their ordination.

So, given how many young people are leaving or have already left your Church, I'd appreciate some help God, for me as I wrestle with what it all means, for the Children I have and will baptise in your name but above all - for the Church, for each one of us to keep our promises.. so that it really might be the case that no one suffers harm by our collective neglect.

Being free to minister..

Good morning God,
Carrying on our conversation from yesterday, you've had me thinking about the way in which church members may need to dissent from their own, and sometimes their minister's understanding of ministry in order to be able to be Church. It's sad really how quickly we can slip into blind obedience to unwritten expectations which make ministry more like wading through mud than liberating the soul.

Do you recall that one brilliant ministerial student asking me in utter panic when she had just been stationed - ' but what will I DO all day?' She was so concerned that she didn't know how she would be expected to spend her time (the same soul was later repeatedly told that she was a workaholic!)
The mistake we make, I think God. is assuming that ministry is like any other 'job'. It isn't a 'job' it is a vocation, a way of being, and as such it can't be broken down into a set of achievable outcomes or tasks. I think you have taught me over the years that ministry is simply a way of being with your people such that they know your presence and can be led into your truth by the power of your holy Spirit.
Of course, there are certain set times which we try and set aside by to be with you and with the minster in order that together we might delight in 'being' Your people, might offer you our thanks and praise, and seek to learn how to be more like you. These are times which may be 'planned', and which may well end up in a diary but which are sadly all too often squeezed or crowded out by a whole host of other things which actually have nothing to do with the ministry or the ministerial vocation.
They are, if we are honest, often more about power-plays than about people, more about status and systems than about the Spirit , and more about ego's and feathers than souls and salvation. And these things cripple the work you have called us to do God.

So before September starts, and a whole new round of ministerial expectations set in - here are a few suggestions which I think you would endorse God, for members of those Circuits which have asked on their circuit profile for a pioneer minister or a minister with experience of Fresh Expressions.

Suggestion number one : Let the minister you have asked for - be the minister you have asked for.
Take a GOOD look at the diary you are busy creating for them - and for every meeting that is already in it which CPD does not require a minister to Chair - try and find someone else to chair it. (for reference - the minister is only required to attend Church Council meetings, the General Church meeting, the Pastoral Committee Meeting and the Circuit meeting. and the Worship consultation meeting if one exists) Learn to ask - WHY do we need the MINISTER to chair this meeting - what will they bring to the meeting which nobody else can. If (as is so often the case) the only answer is to know whether or not the minister is free to attend another meeting/event/occassion - then ask the minister for some date BEFORE the meeting - and agree to one of those.

Suggestion Number Two: Expect the unexpected.
If you have asked for a pioneer or a fresh expression practitioner do not expect them to be the same-old-samo. They will not BE in the office every Monday, or pastoral visiting every Tuesday, at lunch club every Wednesday, Mother's and Toddler's and writing sermons every Thursday, doing hospital visits every Friday, hosting coffee mornings every Saturday and leading Church Services every Sunday.
They are more likely to be in schools, in pubs, in restaurants, in gyms, in the street, on the buses, in the sanctuary, in the cafe's, They are more likely to talking to a bunch of prostitutes than to the Woman's meeting, leading a street healing service on a park bench than leading a guild meeting in the Church hall, and being a pub philosopher/theologian than being in the vestry for a fixed hour once a week. They will be wherever those who do not know God are, and will create a different form of Church with them which may, but probably will not, lead to greater Sunday attendance.

Suggestion number three: SHARE in the work of God.
We have become frighteningly dependent on the clergy in our Churches over the last three decades, and I really think that this more than anything, stifles the ministry of the Whole People of God. Experience teaches us that its only when we begin to share in ministry that we begin to grow ourselves and discover the joy of our own calling. Here are a few obvious things that Church members can begin to reclaim a shared responsibility for: Class leadership, pastoral visiting, Baptismal and wedding preparation classes, leading WORSHIP, leading fellowship, PRAYING.. When these are part of a shared ministry, the Church is a vibrant, Spirit filled community which can't help but grow in grace and holiness.

I'm really thankful that in Methodism, the laity really can have a shared ministry - if they want it; a ministry which is not confined to attending meetings, stewarding or handing out bibles (important as these things are)
A Methodist lay person can be enabled to:

1) Take extended communion to the housebound
2) Baptise
3) Preach
4) Lead worship
5) Lead Bible Study and Fellowship

YES of course, training is needed - these things are important - but the first step is realising that this ministry is not only possible - but is essential to the future life of the Church.

What do you think God - would it work - could we do it?
Could we set our ministers free to minister and begin to share in the ministry of the whole people of God ourselves?

It may be good management - but is it God's ministry..?

Those of us who have been following reshaping of the Connexional team of the British Methodist Church can't help but be aware of the extent to which the UK Methodist Church is into 'management' in a big way. Leaving aside the cute in-speak of greens and reds.. of clusters and cores, the bottom line is that the Church has now fully embraced the concepts of governance, management and leadership (in spite of the fact that the report from which this 1980's business jargon was plundered was NOT adopted by the Methodist Conference of 2005)

So what...? Who cares..? What's to get excited about?

Well - nothing really - as long as we expect the British Methodist Church to be just another institution with a mission statement in the same way that BP or IBM is. If that were the case I would join the ranks of the delighted professionals and celebrate the fact that there is now approaching something vaguely professional about our Church leadership..

The trouble is, in my heart of hearts, I DO expect something different from my Church something - well - at least vaguely spiritual, or religious or even – dare I say it METHODIST - as well as professional.

BUT If I can't have both - well then I'd settle for an holy but Godly mess over and above a sterile professional heart to the Church every time.

As an example of what I mean - taking the latest advert to come out of the Connexional team - we are now looking for a

Policy Development Officer (Ministries)

I'm tempted at this stage to ask for answers on a postcard as to what we think this job is all about - but hold fire until you have read the main tasks of this fixed 12 month contract..

Main Tasks:

1. To support the development of ministerial policy and programmes by:

1.1. Assisting in evaluating existing practices and structures, and exploring alternative models;

1.2. clarifying and presenting options in defined areas, and indentifying the implications of particular proposals or decisions;

1.3. facilitating effective consultation practices and convening ministerial stakeholders forums and practitioners forums

1.4. assisting in shaping policy recommendations for Connexional decision making bodies

2. Interacting with partner organisations by consulting and sharing relevant research outputs to enable mutual learning and assistance

3. Assisting the Strategic Development Officer or the Head of Discipleship & Ministries in ensuring that work within the Team which relates to Ordained and Authorised Ministries is co-ordinated with the work of the Cluster

4. Any other reasonable duties as requested by the Strategic Development Officer or the Head of Discipleship & Ministries

The post does comes with some excellent learning opportunities.. to quote again from the advert:

Learning and training opportunities:

This post offers a good opportunity for anyone to develop a career in the charitable sector. You will receive insight into strategic issues facing one of Britain’s largest Churches, many of which have parallels in other organisations. In particular you will gain experience and knowledge of:

• Dealing with Senior Officers in this and partner organisations
• Some strategy development and policy formulation
• Problem solving
• Team working and using office systems
• Working flexibly and collaboratively within the Connexional Team
• Improved communication skills (oral and written)
• Working in a fast moving environment
• Time management skills and the capacity to meet deadlines

This is obviously a post which could have a profoundly significant spiritual impact on the future life of our Church if it really is intended to help shape and inform the future ministerial policy of the Church (lay and ordained I presume) Yet - it is not considered either essential or desirable for the post holder to:

Believe in God

Have any experience of the practice of Church ministry (either lay or ordained)

Have any knowledge of Methodist theology - in particular the Priesthood of all believers.

It IS essential however, for them to have good IT skills in particular in Outlook, Word and Excel - and best of all - to have 'At least three to five years experience of working in a policy writing and development role or within a professional church context'

In all fairness, whoever applies does need to be 'In sympathy with the aims of The Methodist Church'

Who are we trying to kid?

Given that of the newly configured team only 2/5 are Methodist 2/5 are members of another Christian denomination and 1/5th of no particular faith - I would be astonished if anyone can tell me what these are anymore.

Am I alone in being deeply troubled by this absence of God language in our Church? By the over-emphasis on management and lack of an evidence of interest in or concern for our tradition, beliefs and practices? Is this bureaucracy gone mad? These adverts might make for good management - but will they really help us to build a Godly ministry?